


My First Kiss

by kashmir



Category: That 70s Show
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-01
Updated: 2010-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-09 20:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/91333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kashmir/pseuds/kashmir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fic written from Donna's POV. A story she's writing that's about first kisses, first loves and last chances. I apologize for the short chapters but... this is how it's gonna be written, k? Chapter one of about eight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Kiss: 1968

The First Kiss: 1968

'My First Kiss by Donna Pinciotti'

All girls look forward to their first kiss. Dreaming of who it might be, where and how it will happen and how old she'll be. And I was no different than any other little girl. I just didn't have as long to wait as most girls.

I got my first kiss in 1968, when I was eight years old. It happened on the playground in my hometown of Point Place, Wisconsin. I had just sent the little scrawny neighbor boy, Eric, home in tears-again-and I was pretty pleased with myself. I turned around, wiping the dirt off of my hands, intent on getting on the see saw. When I turned around, I saw one of Eric's friends standing behind me, blocking my path to the see saw. It was Steven Hyde. I knew who he was; we all went to school together after all. And Eric paid him to be his 'hired gun' to protect him from me. I gave him my best 'drop dead' look and went to brush past him but he wouldn't budge. He just gave me this... smirk and crossed his arms.

"You want past me, Pinciotti, you gotta pay a price. I saw what you did to Forman. Means I'm not gonna get my quarter for today. So I figure you owe me," He said.

"Owe you?!" I yelled, stomping my foot. "I'm not paying you any money just cuz I beat string bean up again!"

"Who said anything about money?" he said, uncrossing his arms and leaning towards me. He quickly brushed my lips with his and then turned and ran in the direction of his house.

I stood there in shock. He'd kissed me! Steven Hyde had kissed me! I put my hand up to my lips. They tingled just a little bit. I wondered what had made him do that, as I climbed onto the see saw with my friend Jonie. Luckily, no one saw anything or we both would've been teased unmercifully.

I didn't find out until much later that it was his first kiss, too.


	2. The Second Kiss: 1970

The Second Kiss: 1970

I got my second kiss two years later, when I was ten. I still lived next to string bean and still beat him up every chance I got. His dad, Red, had built him this kick ass clubhouse in their backyard. Him, Michael Kelso and Steven Hyde spent all their time in there. I never knew doing what... girls weren't allowed inside.

One day Steven Hyde stayed around after Kelso had gone home and Eric had gone inside to eat with his family. I was in my backyard, reading a book on the hammock and I noticed him sitting in the Forman's backyard, looking lost. I knew from overhearing my parents and the Forman's talk that his dad had left him and his mom the year before. I felt bad for him, though I never would've told him that. He would've made fun of me for something then and I didn't want that. He was always nice to me, as long as Kelso and Eric weren't around. And I liked that and didn't want to lose that.

So, on that crisp autumn day, when I saw him sitting all alone outside of Eric's clubhouse, I decided to go and talk to him. I sat my book down and made my way over. I know he heard me come through the bushes, although he never turned around, he just said 'hey' real soft.

"Hey," I said back, sitting down beside him on the grass. "What are you still doing here?"

"Don't feel like going home. Edna's got a 'friend' over and I just don't like him," he answered me, shredding a dead leaf between his fingers. It bothers me now, as an adult, that he called his mom by her first name by the time he was ten years old. But at the time, I just thought he was the coolest for doing that.

"Oh, are they like playing cards or something?" I asked, still a babe in swaddling clothes compared to him.

"Or something. Listen, Donna, I'd rather not talk about Edna, ok?" He said, looking at me for the first time. His blue eyes were full of pain and, years later; I knew why he always wore sunglasses. It was to hide his eyes; they're way too expressive. Whatever he's feeling is right there in his eyes for the entire world to see.

But at that moment in time, all I wanted to do was make him feel better. And I remembered that kiss on the playground. And how good I'd felt because of it. So I leaned over and kissed him, softly and briefly, on the lips. He looked shocked when I pulled back and I was quickly embarrassed. I mumbled an excuse and then ran back through the hedges to my yard, forgetting my book in my haste, and right into my house.

I wouldn't know 'til years later that I'd succeeded in making him feel better.


	3. The Third Kiss: 1972

The Third Kiss: 1972

I had almost forgotten all about kissing Hyde those two times by the time we kissed for the third time. Almost. But I still thought about it. Probably more than I should have since I knew Eric had a crush on me and that my parents just loved Eric. The thought Hyde was a troublemaker. Which he was. But he was cool and we all loved hanging with him. By the time we were twelve, we had become almost the four Musketeers; Kelso, Hyde, Eric and me. That was the year Hyde took us egging for the first time.

It was Halloween night and we were allowed to go trick or treating for the very first time that year without parental supervision. My mom and dad had made me dress up like a cheerleader and I hated it. The tight shirt, which was extra tight because I'd started to get boobs already, and the short skirt, both made me itch. And those damn pom poms! I pitched them as soon as we rounded the corner from my house.

The guys all made fun of my costume and I frogged Eric hard in the shoulder when he asked me to do a cheer for him. Hyde stayed suspiciously quiet the whole time Kelso and Eric ragged on me. He just stared at me from behind those sunglasses of his, with his unreadable expression. I would've given my whole sack of candy just to know what he was thinking.

We finished trick or treating around eight thirty. That was when we made our way over to Mr. Kildare's house. He was our English teacher that year and we hated him. When Hyde had first brought up the idea of egging someone's house on Halloween, we all knew who the victim would be. We had hidden our eggs in our sacks and we all giggled nervously, cracking jokes and generally trying to not chicken out as we made our way over to Spruce Street, to Mr. Kildare's brick house.

I was crouched next to Hyde behind the hedges on the left side of Mr. Kildare's sidewalk; Kelso and Eric were on the right side. There weren't any lights on inside the dwelling and we were feeling very confident. We all laughed stifled laughs as we shared conspiratorial glances with each other. And even though I was having fun with Kelso and Eric, I would've much preferred if it were just Hyde and I.

He turned and winked at me and I felt my face flush.

"Ready, Big D?" he whispered, calling me by the nickname he'd coined because of my height. I was a head taller than all the other girls in our grade. When Kelso or Eric called me that, I frogged them. When Hyde did it, I usually blushed.

"Ready!" I whispered back, getting four eggs out and putting two in each hand. He motioned to the other two and we sat crouched, ready to fire.

"Now!" He said in a harsh whisper. We all pitched our eggs as hard and fast as we could, 'refueling' often, 'til all six dozen were gone. We were standing there on the street, celebrating, when we saw lights click on in two windows. We looked at each other and ran frantically. I sprinted along behind Hyde, towards the woods on the opposite side of the street. I made it on the sidewalk and, then, just as we heard Mr. Kildare start to shout, I twisted my ankle and stumbled. Hyde looked behind him and saw what had happened. He came back and grabbed me by the arm, leading me into the woods.

We ran and ran 'til our lungs felt like they would burst. We had somehow lost Kelso and Eric but I wasn't too concerned about them. I was finally alone with Hyde. We were standing there, both breathing hard and trying to recover. It took us almost five minutes before we could speak.

"Man, I almost died when I saw those lights go on!" Hyde said, half laughing at the memory.

"Oh, I know! Me, too!" I said, chuckling with him.

He stopped laughing a few moments later and looked at me. Looked me up and down. Then he spoke.

"You're hot, Donna," He said, sounding embarrassed at what had come out of his mouth.

"Yeah, whatever, Hyde. It's the dumb outfit. All guys have a thing for cheerleaders," I said, rolling my eyes and self consciously tugging my skirt down.

He came over to stand right in front of me. I looked at him and realized that he'd taken his sunglasses off. He cleared his throat and looked like he was getting ready to say something again. But then he just said, what sounded like "I don't," under his breath and then he kissed me. It was longer than the first two but just as nice. He went to put his arms around me but then we heard footsteps coming towards us. We broke apart, both rubbing our lips. I stood there, as Eric and Kelso made their appearance, laughing and talking about our harrowing experience then with Hyde, and wondered as I rubbed my still tingling lips.

Why did Hyde keep kissing? And why did I enjoy it so much? Everyone kept telling me that I was going to end up with Eric. They said we were perfect for each other.

But, as I stood there in the woods on that Halloween night, I knew Hyde and I were perfect for each other. We had shared our first kiss and our first egging. I was sure we had many more firsts in store for us.

What I didn't know is that things don't always work out as you plan.

But I was right about Hyde and me sharing more firsts together.


	4. The Fourth Kiss: 1974

The Fourth Kiss: 1974

The fourth time Hyde and I kissed was the winter when we were both fourteen. It happened after a night of hanging in Eric's basement, the first night that I joined 'the circle,' as the boys called it. It was a cold, snowy Saturday and Hyde was the one who suggested I sit in with the boys and he was also the one who convinced Kelso and Eric when they seemed reluctant to let a girl in on their 'sacred' activity. Another first I shared with him.

We sat around the spool in Eric's basement for hours, debating about Jeanie and Samantha and tons of other useless and inane things. Kelso's mom called at nine thirty and he had to go home. We all took great delight in making fun of him, calling him a 'momma's boy' and just basically being obnoxious about the whole thing.

When he left, it was just Eric, Hyde and I. We continued debating and arguing and giggling 'til about ten thirty, when Mrs. Forman summoned Eric upstairs for his bath. Which resulted in a barrage of insults and burns from Hyde and me. He reluctantly climbed the steps and told us he'd see us both tomorrow. We both knew if we didn't leave the basement once Eric had gone upstairs for the night, Red would have a fit.

We gathered up our jackets and left. We got to the top of the basement stairs before Hyde spoke to me.

"Hey, Donna, you, uh, want me to walk you home?" He asked me, standing there, shivering in his coat, with his hands buried deep in his pockets. I had suspicions that he had a crush on me but we were still kind of young and I think he was afraid to really do anything about it, like, tell me.

I knew my parents didn't like him, though. They thought he was 'trash' and they never understood why Mr. and Mrs. Forman left him hang around so much. I knew I could never act on my feelings for Hyde by then. As much as I liked him, I didn't think I could ever be with him. And I knew he wasn't the only one with a crush on me. Eric had one, too, and my parents approved of Eric.

But on that cold, snowy night in November, I didn't care what my parents thought or if Eric liked me. It was like a fairyland and I wanted to be able to pretend, even just for a few minutes, that Hyde and I could be together. Like I wanted us to be. So I told him I'd really appreciate it if he'd walk me home.

We walked slowly, both of us trying to savor these few stolen moments. No Kelso, no Eric... or that little Burkhardt twit that had started following Kelso around a little while ago. Just him and me. We walked side by side through the Forman's driveway. Our hands brushed, shooting a thrill up my arm and I realized then that he must have taken his hands out of his pockets. I hardly had time to register that because he took hold of my hand then and held it. Laced his cold fingers through mine, and squeezed.

I stopped and looked down at our entwined hands and then at him. He had a look on his face like he clearly expected me to slap him. But then I smiled at him and he smiled back and we continued to walk to my house. He was the first boy I held hands with. Another first.

All too soon, we reached my back door, where my parents had left the porch light on for me. We stood there awkwardly for a few minutes before either of us spoke.

"Well, I, uh, better get home," he stumbled out, uncharacteristically nervous, sneaking glances at me and then looking away. He still held my hand, though.

"Yeah," I answered, "I have to get in the house, you know, need to get to bed. Got church early tomorrow." I still held onto his hand, not wanting to let go.

"Yeah," he said, dragging the toe of his boot through the snow on my stoop and still not looking me in the eye.

I sighed, knowing I really did have to get inside before my dad came out and started harassing Hyde. I went to let go of his hand and he gripped it tighter. I looked at him and realized he was staring intently into my eyes.

"Donna," he said and then stopped talking. He pulled me by our joined hands into him and wrapped me in his arms, kissing me.

We kissed and kissed for what seemed like hours and then, I felt him slowly trace the outline of my lips with his tongue. I'd only ever kissed him and we'd never done anything like this. I opened my mouth in surprise and he took that opportunity to slip his tongue inside and stroke mine. It felt nice... Hell, more than nice! It felt wonderful, the best thing I'd ever felt before. I learned fast and we were soon oblivious to our surroundings. I stroked the roof of his mouth with my tongue and wrapped my arms tighter around his neck. He traced the inside of my lips and our tongues met again.

Just then, I heard a cupboard open and close in my kitchen. I broke apart from him and we stood in the snow, breathing heavy and flushed from more than the cold. My lips felt swollen and when I looked at him, his lips were bright red, the way they always look after he eats a cherry Popsicle, and glistening. I softly touched my lips; they still hummed from his touch.

I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, mumbled an apology under my breath and ran into the house. I rested my back against the door after I'd closed it and slid down 'til I hit the floor, touching my still-tingling lips. Reliving my first French kiss.

I didn't know, again until much later, that he stood outside my door for ten minutes after I went in the house, touching his own lips. Reliving his first French kiss.

Another first that we shared.


	5. The Fifth Kiss: 1976

The Fifth Kiss: 1976

The next time Hyde and I kissed was a total disaster. We were sixteen and I had just started 'dating' Eric. Well, not officially 'dating' but we messed around a lot. And I couldn't help but compare him to Hyde. I never felt sparks with Eric like I did when I kissed Hyde. I chalked that up to first kisses and the excitement of the moment, nothing more. Eric and I were going to end up together everyone thought so. But sometimes, what people think is going to happen and what actually happens are two different things.

But anyway... We had gone up to Jackie Burkhardt's ski cabin for the weekend. Hyde had been making repeated attempts for me to go out with him but I kept turning him down. Every time it happened, it got harder and harder to say no to him. My head and my heart were at constant war with one another when it came to him. But my head always seemed to win, telling him 'no' and then going off with Eric.

After I spurned some of Hyde's latest attempts on the way to the cabin, Eric and I were in the bedroom, making out, with me silently critiquing Eric's every move. We were interrupted by the ungodly sounds of Jackie sobbing in the next room. She was having trouble with Kelso, her boyfriend at the time, and her incessant crying got to be too much. We went out to the living room to find that, while we'd been in the bedroom, our other friend, Fez, the foreign exchange student from God knows where, had gotten drunk on an entire bottle of Amaretto and ran outside in his underwear to make snow angels. Eric went after him, leaving Hyde and I to contend with Jackie.

After a rather callous remark from Hyde, Jackie ran into the bedroom in tears. I remember telling Hyde he was being a jerk and that he needed to quit hitting on me. He told me he didn't like it but couldn't help himself. And then he cupped my face and kissed me.

In those four seconds that the kiss lasted, a million things ran through my head. The very last thought I had, after how good it felt and how much I'd wanted to do this since that winter night in '74, was I was 'with' Eric and I shouldn't be doing this. So I pulled away and slapped him. I ran into the bedroom to comfort Jackie.

But I spent the entire time thinking about Hyde and that kiss. And regretting slapping him. I think I did that more because I was mad at myself than at him. I was there with Eric and I kissed his best friends; and Eric had been the very farthest thing from my mind when it happened. So I felt extremely guilty... And also a little sad.

I've regretted a few things in my life. That slap is one of them. That kiss was one of the hottest kisses of my life. I thought for sure that that was the absolute last kiss Hyde and I would share together.

But I was wrong.


	6. The Sixth Kiss: 1978

The Sixth Kiss: 1978

I didn't think Hyde and I would ever kiss again after the ill-fated kiss at the ski cabin. But we did. And it had very different undertones than all the other kisses we'd shared over the years. It was very poignant, sad and filled with regret... For what could have been.

It was the day before Eric and I left for the University of Wisconsin in Madison. I was in my room all alone, finishing up packing. Zeppelin's 'What Is and What Should Never Be' was playing on the radio when Hyde walked in and to this day I think of him whenever I hear that song.

He walked into my room, shifting his feet a little, apparently uncomfortable. I looked up at him from my position on the floor where I was sorting albums and gave him a soft 'Hey.' He smiled and said 'Hey' back and then came over, asking if I needed any help. Soon we were both sitting crossed legged on the floor, sorting through my massive record collection.

After about ten minutes or so he made a suggestion that would improve both of our moods. Even though we didn't say it we both knew we needed a pick-me-up. The mood of the past week had been decidedly melancholy. But, there in my room, within minutes, we were both feeling much better, thanks to our impromptu 'circle.'

It must have been all the emotions about starting college and moving away and even the engagement that had been pulling us down, because we were soon laughing our stoned asses off at stories from our 'youth.' That was when I found out I was his very first kiss; that I was also his first French kiss and that I had made him feel better by kissing him all those years ago by Eric's clubhouse. I think if I hadn't been so stoned, I would've realized the significance of those remarks he made about those particular memories.

I finally remembered through my pot-induced haze that he'd never told me why he was there in my room. So when I asked him, he took off his sunglasses and looked me in the eye.

"Donna, man, I just wanted to let you know... You're my best friend... Well, besides Forman. I want to make sure you know that if you ever need anything or whatever, I'm here. So, just don't go forgetting me, ok?" He said, trying to play off how hurt he must have been feeling.

I gave him what was surely the saddest smile I've ever smiled and then hugged him. I thought about it after I came down and I realized that Eric and I were doing what everyone else in his life that he cared about had done. We were leaving.

"Hyde, I'll never forget you," I said softly to the wall behind his shoulder. "You're my best friend, too. And, C'mon-You were my first kiss! A girl never forgets that!" Somehow it was easier to say without having him looking back at me.

Pot usually makes you forgetful and foggy on details but I'll never forget what happened next, down to the last taste of him that day. He pulled away from the hug first and then cupped the back of my neck. He looked deep in my eyes again and then leaned in to kiss me. It was so different from any other kiss I've gotten in my life, even to this day. It was soft, gentle, sad, undemanding, poignant, filled with regret and several other emotions I couldn't even try to describe or comprehend in my surprised and saddened state. I realized later that he had been kissing me goodbye.

He let go of me first, again, pulling back and standing up. It took me a few seconds to open my eyes and register the fact that he was standing and about to leave. Which had everything to do with that kiss and nothing to do with what we'd just smoked.

Hyde handed me a slip of paper and then kissed me on the top of my head.

"You were my first love, Big D." And he was gone.

I glanced at the paper and all it had written on it was his name and the Forman's address, along with 'Don't forget me' scrawled underneath in his careless handwriting.

It was then that I noticed the tears coursing down my cheeks. There were so many things I'd never gotten to tell him and I thought I never would. Eric and I were engaged and moving to Madison and I thought for sure that Hyde would never be a part of my life again.


	7. The Seventh Kiss: 1980

The Seventh Kiss: 1980

You just never know what Fate has in store for you.

It took Eric and I a few years to realize we'd become better friends than lovers. We'd never really gotten back what we'd had before that whole promise ring incident. Soon the spark of relief and comfort of being together again faded and we were left with... just us. Then once we'd gotten to college and had our eyes opened to just how young we really were, we knew we were making a mistake. It just took us two years to openly admit that to one another, however. Neither of us had the courage to come out and say it. But we finally did at the end of our sophomore year.

As I packed up my share of the junk we'd accumulated over four semesters, I'd never felt better. For the first time in about three years I felt like myself. I couldn't wait to get back to Point Place for one reason and one reason only.

Steven Hyde.

We'd kept in touch with him, separately of course, but Eric rarely made the effort anymore, and they had grown apart since they stopped living under the same roof. Hyde and I stayed close though, with phone calls and letters. I was the first one he called when he moved out of the basement and when he got the job as head chef at the hotel. I missed him terribly: his wise-ass remarks, his paranoid rants about the government, hell, even his sideburns. I missed everything about him but until recently hadn't stopped to wonder why. I was busy with school and trying to be in love with Eric, who I was supposed to spend my life with. I couldn't, and didn't want to, take time to work out why I missed Hyde so much. It just felt wrong. But once Eric and I had talked and ended it, it was there nagging at me, feelings waiting to be examined.

I tried on my own to puzzle it out, not daring to mention it to any of my friends for fear it would get back to Eric. We were over, but I didn't want to hurt him - he was still one of my best friends. And surprisingly enough, I had no idea that Eric would the one to provide the answer I couldn't see on my own.

On that chilly spring day, as Eric and I packed up our lives in Madison, we were talking about high school and all the drama since then. I was so glad that this breakup wasn't weird and awkward like the last time. Instead of us struggling against each other, we had come to the same conclusion, for once, that we'd both outgrown the relationship.

And maybe because we were friends again - real friends - we finally talked about the first breakup, and Eric confessed several things I'd never been aware of before. I was secretly pleased that it had been Hyde who pulled the fire alarm that night I was to spend with Casey at "Le Motel". But the most interesting was learning that Hyde had warned Eric not to give me that ill-fated promise ring.

"You know, Donna," he said, as he put his huge collection of Star Wars books into a box, "Hyde warned me that I shouldn't give you that ring, that you weren't the type of girl to be pinned down. He was right." Eric stopped and laughed, looking almost as surprised as I felt. "He apparently was always right when it came to you." The sound of the packing tape ripping off the roll covered my silence, but Eric didn't really expect me to answer as he continued, "You know, I kind of think maybe you two were the ones meant for each other, and that maybe I was the one who got in the way all those years ago."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I stopped wrapping newspaper around my few breakable knickknacks and looked at him to see if he was really serious. I had known since our mutual decision that I would be seeing Hyde, but it suddenly had a whole new aspect to it. And as we had talked and packed, I sensed that my real feelings for Hyde were once again stronger than just friendship. But to hear Eric speak of someone other than him being in my life in 'that way'... it just blew my mind.

Secretly I had wondered how Eric would react if anything happened between me and Hyde. I had my answer and it took a huge weight off of my shoulders. We finished packing in silence and I thought over the last nineteen years of my life - the kisses, the friendship, the laughs. Those feelings I had kept suppressed all this time I had been with Eric resurfaced and suddenly I knew the real reason I was going to see Hyde: to see if any of the feelings I still had, and had always had for that matter, were reciprocated.

Eric must have seen me blushing and smiling, because he came over to where I was sitting on the couch and took my hand in his. I looked at him and he gave me a bittersweet smile.

"I may have gotten in the way of what should have been, but I don't regret one minute of it, Donna. So you can blush and look guilty," he chuckled, "But you need to know always be my first love and I wouldn't change a thing," he emphasized the last part.

I nodded my head, a little choked up. I may have stopped being' in' love with Eric, but he was a huge part of my life and always had been. I knew that I'd always love him, even if that love wasn't a romantic love anymore.

I kissed Eric on the cheek and told him I felt the same way. Although I was lying about one thing… Steven Hyde was my first love. And I was finally ready to do something about it.

I didn't get back to Point Place till late that night. It had started to rain and I had a really tough time seeing the road to drive. By the time I got to my old neighborhood it was nearing midnight, but I couldn't go home yet. I had to go see him now, before I lost my nerve. So I drove right past my Dad's house and continued on towards the Pine Village Apartment Complex, which had just been built the previous year.

I sat in the parking lot outside his unit for twenty minutes talking myself into getting out of the car. The rain had slowed to a drizzle by the time I made my way into the building. I checked the mailboxes and sure enough, there it was. Steven Hyde, Apt. 2-H. I slowly climbed the stairs, my whole body buzzing with adrenaline. What was I going to say to him? That I finally came to my sense and realized I loved him? That I should be with him? That I always should've been with him?

I knocked on his door with trembling fingers, barely making out the soft sounds of a Who album coming from inside the apartment. I could smell incense and then heard a muffled 'In a sec.' I'd recognize that voice anywhere. Now, if I can just figure out what to say when he opens the door, I thought to myself.

And then there he was, in his bare feet, wearing jeans and a Stones tee. But no sunglasses. His blue eyes caught mine and before he could get out any kind of a hello I'd decided to scrap any ideas for conversation. I needed to take some action. So I did, launching myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and mashing my lips against his.

It only took him a few seconds to respond then he was wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me off my feet. He outlined the shape of my lips with his tongue and then plunged deep inside. We kissed in the hallway of his building for twenty, maybe thirty seconds before he pulled away. I knew by the look on his face that he wanted some answers.

"Donna, as nice at that enthusiastic greeting was… What the hell was that all about?" He asked, taking his arms from around my waist and crossing them over his chest.

I couldn't help but give him a huge smile as I announced, "I came here to tell you that Eric and I are through." I waited to see his reaction before I planned to confess the rest of my feelings for him.

But I wasn't expecting anger. "So that's what that whole kiss was about? You and Eric are through and what, you want to slum it?" He asked, his voice suddenly hard and sarcastic. I had forgotten how cutting he could be and couldn't look him in the eye when I replied. If I had, I might not have missed the hurt and pain in his eyes and not wasted so much more time.

"No! God, no, it's just, I finally realized what you mean to me-" I'd never considered Hyde slumming. He was just Hyde. I could see how he'd be angry about me just showing up, but to think he was...

"I thought I was just your best friend and that's all we'd ever be?" He asked, again sarcastically. I heard my own words mocking me and it burned. Bad.

I was now battling tears, completely unprepared for this scenario. I was reminded of when Casey dumped me and how I hadn't expected that either. Back then I had gone running to Eric to be rebuffed the same way Hyde was rebuffing me now. Except this time, it hurt so much worse. This time I wasn't running to someone in pain, I was running to them in love.

My voice wavered, "I thought so but then I got to thinking, and I realized-" He cut me off with a snort, grabbing the door and getting ready to go back into his apartment.

His voice was brittle, and it scared me. "It's too late, Donna. Whatever kind of a chance we had, we lost a long time ago.'

He turned to go inside but stopped and faced me once again. The tears were pouring down my cheeks and I couldn't even be bothered to hide them. I started to cry even harder when I saw the mix of love, anger, hurt, and regret swirling in the blue depths of his eyes. If he'd just let me explain, my panicked mind shouted, but my mouth refused to work.

"I can't be your second choice, Donna," My past echoed back at me. And then he shut the door and I was left alone.

I'd heard those words three years before but the pain then was nothing compared to what I felt when Hyde shut his door.

I'd managed to lose the love of my life before I ever really had him.


	8. The Eighth Kiss: 1982

The Eighth Kiss: 1982

After Hyde rejected me, I knew I couldn't stay in Point Place and risk seeing him. He still had Sunday dinner every week at the Forman's and I just knew I couldn't handle seeing him so soon after what transpired in his hallway. I decided to transfer to Northwestern University for the upcoming summer semester. Nothing was keeping me in Wisconsin anymore. The only person I had to worry about was me. For the first time in my life I was truly independent and on my own.

Over the next year and a half, I worked my ass off, graduating in December of 1981, a semester earlier than originally planned. I had interned at a local newspaper during my last semester of school and was offered a job as an obituary writer upon graduating. It wasn't glamorous but it was a start.

I still kept in touch with Eric and it was through him that I learned Hyde had moved to Chicago right around the time I graduated. He was the new sous chef at a posh downtown restaurant. When he told me, I could hear the unasked questions in his voice. I'd never told anyone what had happened in that hallway and apparently neither had Hyde. I tried to keep my voice even and control the wild pounding of my heart. I vaguely remember speaking to Eric for a few more minutes before hanging up, deftly avoiding his attempts at trying to figure out what went wrong between Hyde and I. But even after I had set the phone back in its cradle, the news still buzzed around in my head.

Hyde was living in the same city as me. What would I do if I ran into him? What would I say? I wanted nothing more than a second chance to explain to him how I felt. It looked like I might have a chance now.

During the following six months, I looked for him around street corner. Every time I saw a man with curly hair, I'd hold my breath, praying that it was him. But it never was.

I subsequently got a promotion at work. I was offered a monthly column, in addition to obituary writer. I was told that if I proved myself as a columnist, I'd be promoted to a weekly column and taken off of obituaries altogether. It wasn't feature writing, not yet, but it was a start. And the one person I wanted to share my news with, I haven't spoken to since an awful rainy night in the spring of 1980.

I got my column three months ago. It's everything I've ever thought I wanted and yet I find that my life seems to be lacking. I'm finally doing what I've always wanted to do. But it seems like such a hollow victory because I can't share it with anyone. Specifically, I don't have Hyde to share it with.

I'm tired of waiting for Fate to get off of its ass and do something about this. I've decided to give Fate a nudge and maybe have a hand in my own destiny. I'm writing this story with the hope that Hyde reads it and realizes what he means to me; what he's always meant to me. That he was never second choice, but that it took me years to figure that out.

Steven Hyde was my first kiss and my first love. I'm just afraid that this might be my last chance to tell him that. So, Hyde, if you're reading this and you feel the same way I do, meet me at Hal's Diner on Fifth Street on the twenty-third at noon. It's been about two years and I think you owe me another kiss.

...

Hyde sat the newspaper down on the greasy table after having read Donna's article for about the fiftieth time. He took a swig of coffee and waited. He was giving her one more minute. Hyde had gotten to the diner twenty minutes beforehand and it was now five minutes after twelve. He sighed, realizing that it had been too good to be true.

He got up from the table, throwing some bills on the worn surface. He'd just shrugged into his faded denim jacket when he heard the bell tinkle above the door, signaling the entrance of another patron to the greasy eatery. He quickly glanced at the new arrival and then did a double take. She'd come. And she's still as beautiful as ever he thought, frozen to the spot.

She spotted him and immediately weaved her way through tables and chairs to stand in front of him. He'd stopped in the middle of adjusting his collar and had a stunned expression on his face. She knew he had thought she'd stood him up. Of all damn days not to be able to catch a cab, she thought.

Donna rubbed her suddenly damp palms on her jeans and struggled to come up with words to explain how she felt. C'mon, Pinciotti, you're a writer for Chrissakes! Say something, she admonished herself in her head.

"I-I'm sorry I was late-" But whatever she was going to say was lost.

Hyde had come out of his stupor and cupped her cheeks. He leaned down till their lips were mere millimeters apart.

"Seems to me I owe you something," He said as she licked her lips. She tried to form an answer but her brain refused to function.

Then he kissed her and she forgot how to think, she forgot everything.


End file.
